The Weasel Chronicles

Every few months or so I get an inexplicable, and some would say inexcusable craving for fried chicken. Realistically it's a craving that makes as much sense as those cravings which divers get for gnawing on a coral reef. As such, I ventured to a local unspecified chicken frying establishment. I ordered my lunch and watched as they picked pieces of chicken off a shelving unit which appeared to be made of unsold portions of the chicken I was now currently purchasing.The chicken itself was, luckily, cooked and flavoured in a rather bland variety of grease. Since I had paid for it and was eating within the restaurant itself and in full view of the employees, I felt an obligation to at least attempt to finish the meal. I did finish most of it, not eating some of the fries, skin and mostly leaving the bones uneaten as well.Some things, it is said, are better the second time around. This, however, does not apply to already digested food. In fact, I'd wager that previously digested food is actually worse the second time around, as is the case here. The chicken despite being cooked, still had some life in it and proceeded to do some brisk aerobics within my stomach. This further did not endear me to the chicken.This particular fried chicken experience did not go well, not well at all. However, as many of you know I'm a glass half-full kind of weasel and duly acknowledge that there are positives for this whole experience. Mainly, I believe this will discourage me from having fried chicken cravings in the future. However, in order to enforce the gag order, I am considering buying a hammer and labeling it "In case of Kraving of Fried Chicken, bash stomach". It will have roughly the same effect, but saves me the time and trouble of buying the food.I've avoided mentioning the restaurant for fear of reprisals from chicken frying conglomerates. The last thing I need is a lawsuit, because lets face it...I'd be low on the pecking order for judgments which certainly would not be a poultry sum. Yes, the whole experience is...of course...nothing to crow about.That's today's Weasel's Wrant. Well, maybe this years...